Love and Heartache

As a gay man, love has been elusive to me.  I've fallen three times, and although there were good times I always ended up hurt.  Some will say, "...that's life, you learn from your mistakes,"  but I'm tired of learning.  I want to love and be loved.  It's always funny how you think the one person that supposedly loves you, will not hurt you, but it my cases I've been the one hurt.  Sometimes I wonder if it's my fault, that I give too much of myself and trust in the wrong people.  But that's just who I am, I don't throw around the word "love"  unless I mean it.  I can only wish I could meet someone that feels the same way I do about what it means to love.

This post has to do with more poetry, some about love and some about heartache and betrayal.  I hope you enjoy and please give a minute to leave some feedback.

COMPOSITION OF LOVE by Thomas Ventrelli
The page of the music stares at me
In it I see
Like a reflection
Myself, my life and my love...you
I sit at the piano and play
The tune carries me to the past...
My thoughts-the notes
The staff-my life
And you-a rest
The instrument we play is love.
The conductor-fate
I play...
We play...
Together our bodies sing
Like a chorus
Young...
Vibrant...
Alive...
Suddenly...it stopped
We stopped,
I stopped.
I reach out to take hold of the music...
And find myself lying in bed, the tune fading.
I race to the piano, sit and play
Composing my love for you.

WITHIN by Thomas Ventrelli
Within each heart, lies a yearning soul
Searching for another to have and to hold
Within each beat, lies a song to be sung
Waiting for a duet to sing as one
Within each touch, lies the sweetest caress
Longing for happiness in exquisite tenderness
Within each kiss, lies a passion so bright
Engulfing each moment in sensual delight
Within each stare, lies a mirror of the past
Reflecting joy and sorrow of loves that didn't last
Within each smile, lies a heart that is true
Finally finding the "one" who becomes a part of you
Within this man, who was delivered by fate
I have found...a friend, a lover... my soul-mate.

EMOTIONAL TERRORIST by Thomas Ventrelli
He's an emotional terrorist
Waging his own kind of war
With words of mass destruction
He'll leave your heart on the floor
He's a fatalist, a masochist
A wolf in sheep's clothes
He preys on lonely hearts
Seduction is what he knows
Mesmerized by his smile
Attracted to his style
He'll possess your heart and soul
Watch out! The emotional terrorist is on patrol.
He's an emotional terrorist
Conning his way into your heart
With words of mass destruction
He'll tear your soul apart
He's charismatic, melodramatic
A master of disguise
He's everything you wished for
But his love is just all lies
Mesmerized by his smile
Attracted to his style
He'll take your heart and soul
Watch out! The emotional terrorist is on patrol.
He's an emotional terrorist
Waging his own kind of war
With words of mass destruction
He'll leave your heart on the floor
Don't be his next victim
He takes no prisoners
Don't be his next victim
He takes no prisoners.

HEART ON A SLEEVE by Thomas Ventrelli
We've known each other for a while now baby
And you know I care for you
But there's this feeling inside
That I just can't hide
And I think you feel it too
It's not the way that you love me
Or the way we embrace
It's a feeling of insecurity
When I look into your face
Don't let me wear my heart on a sleeve
Don't tell me promises you can't keep
Don't make me think what I want to believe
'Cause a heart on a sleeve
Is just a broken heart in the end.
I know you wouldn't hurt me
Or cause me any pain
But a broken heart is hard to mend
And it's never quite the same
So if you think you can love me
I'll reach out my hand
But if your just not sure
Then let me tell you again
Don't let me wear my heart on a sleeve
Don't tell me promises you can't keep
Don't make me think what I want to believe
'Cause a heart on a sleeve
Is just a broken heart in the end.
I know things don't last forever
Like the love two people share
But you know, it's worse in the end
When one is unaware
So, if the road we are travelling
Is the same I traveled before
Maybe we could change our path
If I tell you just once more
Don't let me wear my heart on a sleeve
Don't tell me promises you can't keep
Don't make me think what I want to believe
'Cause a heart on a sleeve
Is just a broken heart in the end.