Living in Oblivion 2

Growing up as a young adult in the late 70's and 80's was tough.  I had lots of friends, but the world was changing and being thin and glamorous was in, unfortunately I was always a big boy.  As I look back at how stupid I was, it pains me to this day.  I never said "no" to anybody for fear of being rejected.  I yearned to be like everyone else.  I took the roll as a follower, and did whatever my peers wanted.  I had low self-esteem and I was confused about my sexuality which I kept to myself.  All these pressures take a toll on a young mind and not loving yourself can get you into dire situations, and hanging out with the wrong crowd...well you know what that can lead to.

                                                               
                                                                     HELL TIMES TWO
                                                                                  by
                                                                        Thomas Ventrelli
THE DECENT:
                        My Savior! My Savior!
                        Come deliver me
                        Take me away of what I chose to be
                        He gave me lies, but why couldn't I see?
                        He stole my soul, and used me miserably
                        He taught me sin, in that Hell's Kitchen
                        Some white powder is all you need
                        Oh, there it goes another nose bleed
                        Promises broken, goals unattended
                        Downward I fall....Hell descended.

BACK INTO HELL:
                                Deja vu has taken hold of me
                                Wasn't I here before?
                                Why couldn't I see?
                                The demons are lurking
                                Just around the bend
                               Waiting to take my soul...
                                Can this be happening again?
                                Like Dante's Inferno and the Circles of Sin
                                Monotony occurs day out, day in
                                And the Devil, he's waiting, laughing to the bank
                                And we his Golems, just us to thank
                                The thought disappears, along with my dreams
                                It's too late now, I can't be redeemed
                               Why didn't I learn, now it's just like before
                                I shouldn't have answered the knock...
                               When the Devil was back at my door.


                                                                            SAVE ME
                                                                                    by
                                                                       Thomas Ventrelli

Lost in Oblivion
Caressed by the dark
Calling your name
Calling your heart
But no answer
You don't hear my call
Drugged by emotions
I stumble and fall
You are not there to catch me
You are not there at all
Alone...(in the night)
Alone...(in my soul)
I don't want to be alone
I want to be whole
Save me
Save me
Grab my hand
Pull me up
Up to you
Don't let me fall
Hold tight
Hold true
Save me, save me
Save me from you
Wandering in Hell
Touched by the night
Wanting so hard
Wanting the light
But you're not here
Not here at all
Drugged by the evil
I stumble and fall
You are not here to catch me
You are not here at all
Alone...(in the dark)
Alone...(in my soul)
Now I know...
I will never be whole